I'm way late, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry how the situation played out, but I'm sure there is a puppy somewhere just waiting for you to bring it home.
I'm with the others; go with your heart on the color issue. I always wanted a blue merle, but ended up with a brindle and a red because they were the best fit for us at that particular time. I love them both and wouldn't change a thing. Whatever you decide, I'm sure you will be a super mom for any puppy when it finally finds you
