Humour competition

[Michael Romanos]

To mark the milestone of 20.000 postings on Go Corgi by its members in under 16 months, we are staging a fun competition.

We are looking for the best HUMOROUS (TRUE) STORY INVOLVING YOUR CORGI/S.

Two entries allowed per member. Each must be in less than 400 words.

Give the story a caption which may be used as part of the judging.

The three best entries will be acknowledged with the winning story given space on Go Corgi's home page.

Entries close on February 24, 2007.

The judge is the Editor of New Zealand's MET PET quarterly magazine, Suzanne Watt.

Only entries posted on this thread. Anything else will be deleted.

Have lots of fun in writing your story. Remember not everyone has the same sense of humour and what may not sound as funny to you could make someone else roll around in helpless mirth.

[milles2]

Mystery Poop

Since bringing Tucker home he had been sleeping in a crate in my room with his stuffed dog named Snuggle Puppy. Snuggle Puppy was a kennel dog, he did not leave the kennel (crate), Tuck only played with him at bedtime when he went into his crate to sleep.

When Tucker was about 5-6 months old. I got up one morning on a workday, fed him, took him for a walk, then left him to free range around the house while I got in the shower.

He was up in my bedroom chewing (of course) on a Nylabone when I got in the shower. When I got out, I walked out into my bedroon and right by the doorway, was a poop. Right next to the poop, was Snuggle Puppy.

Where's Tucker? On the other side of the room looking out the window watching the grass grow.

Now you tell me? Coincidence? I think not. Snuggs never left the crate, suddenly there is a poop on the floor and Snuggle Puppy ends up next to the poop and Tucker across the room?

This is why I refer to my darling Tucker as manipulative!

(picture of Tucker, Snuggle Puppy, and Bruce the Moose in happier days)

Susan

[Jespah]

We change our walk routes as the seasons change. Spring means we go down to the ravine and the river again.

The second spring we went down, I let Rupert and Riley off leash and they cavorted through the woods and along the creek that leads to the river. That first spring visit, with all the wonderful smells and squishy things left over from winter is the best. They are having a wonderful time snuffling and foraging in the bush, and I’m feeling like I’m a pretty cool Mom letting them be free.

Suddenly, Rupe lifts his head, as if to the call of some distant and primeval force, and he is off and running. He disappears around a corner and I can’t see him anymore.

Light bulbs go off in my still winter-weary head and I high tail it over to where he has gone. There he is. Standing. Standing in the spring-fed mud hole. His chin is lowered; he’s looking down his pointy little nose at me, an evil grin on his face. It’s a showdown. “Don’t even think about it�, I say in my best authoritative Mom voice. He’s thinking about it. Splamf, frog-dog position is assumed. Up to the collar in mud – pirate grin on his face, wiggling tootsies stretched out behind him.

As I stand in a state of incredulity, gawking at my mud-hound, a family comes along and sees him lying there, blissful and defiant. The first time, they say, “aw, look at that� it comes out as one might say it to a cute little bunny you’ve happened upon in the gentle woods. When it dawns on them that he is laying flat out, up to his chin in black tar-like mud, it is repeated, this time with the connotation of utmost sympathy.

Yeah, I say – “look at that.�

[LittlePonzo]

A Lover's Rage By: Ponzo Bennett

I could hardly member life without him: Without my main squeeze, Teddy. Why I believe I first encountered him at the breeders, the day he accompanied me on my first trip home. So plush, so blue, so loyal to me was Teddy....That was until I murdered him.
See, it was a day like any other, Amanda was at work, Josh was taking a shower after the gym. Me, well I was spending some quality time with Teddy on the floor in the living room. We were romping as usual, rolling in the hay so to speak. I thought we were having fun when suddenly, billows of soft white fluffy insides come flowing out from the nostrals of my beloved. The sight of this sets me into a frenzy. I'm shaking him with reckless abandon. Incredible! Exhilarating! Have I lost my mind? No way, if this feeling's wrong I don't want to be right!
"Ponzo!" Josh yells. "What happened to Teddy?"
Then, within an instant, I realize. I knew the feel of Teddy anywhere, but this time, he felt different: Floppy, ragged, lifeless. I looked around, I was drenched in Teddy's "blood", as so was the entire living room.
"I'm sorry, Josh" I look up at him as if to say. "I, I don't know what came over me! I couldn't stop, the force inside me was too strong!"
I watched as he collected what was left of my amigo and together we walked slowly, and with conviction, to the plastic bin that stands in the corner of the kitchen. I watched as Josh lowered his limp, helpless frame into the container and knew, just all things that find their way into that bin, I would never see my main squeeze, again.

[tandemgal]

A Bedtime Story

Hubby always had a “No dog on the bed” policy before Chloe. After her surgery this past summer I put her on our bed that night in case she needed me... Hubby was working that night. He wasn’t happy when he first saw Chloe on the bed but his Hard Hubby Heart soon melted and he abolished the rule. Chloe was officially welcomed to the bottom of the bed.

As both Hubby and Chloe became more comfortable with each other Chloe would take more liberties.... she would crawl up and sleep in the bend behind Hubby’s knees. “Ahhh she is so cute” he would say when he woke this way. Chloe became more bold and move up the bed to snuggle up next to Hubby’s back...”Ahhh she is my little Puppy Girl” he would coo as he rubbed Chloe behind her ears...

Chloe decided it was warmer to sleep between Hubby and Me...”Ahhh can you blame her? It’s cold tonight” Hubby would say justifying her boldness. Chloe rewarded Hubby with Puppy Kisses each morning after that...”Who’s your Daddy Chloe Belle?” he would chuckle each morning as he gave her a good rub down.

One morning as Hubby was hovering between sweet dreams and waking up He felt Chloe’s fur against his cheek... with his heart melting Hubby nuzzled Chloe and then opened his eyes. There where should have been adoring Puppy Eyes looking back at him was Chloe’s bottom! “Ahhhhhhh...” is all I can print...


edit = must add emote!

[Cheyenne60041]

Waking mommy on weekends.

Hi my name is Lola, but on occasion when it suits me I will also respond to Princess and Viciousness.
My mommy likes to sleep in on the weekends and it took me a long time to figure out how to wake her up since she is a very heavy sleeper, but I finally got it! Want to know how I do it? Ok I will tell you if you promise to make sure that all your friends know that it was my idea when they want to wake up their parents in the morning. Ok? Good. Listen-up:
Towards morning my mommy like to sleep on her back which makes my plan possible. Once mommy is on her back I back into the other end of the room, get a good running start, jump up and make sure that all four of my paws land squarely and solidly on her stomach.....the harder, the better! After that mommy will jump right up and quickly limp to the little room where she always goes after getting up. Five minutes or so later she will be out and taking me and my brother for a walk. Ta-da, mission accomplished! Aren't I smart? ;o)

[bec]

Stuff is Yum.

My Pembroke corgi Douglas thinks stuff is yum.
Everything is yum.
Skirting boards are yum.. tennis balls are yum.

The other day he decided that the middle 40 pages of my novel were yum.

Knowing that our Douglas thinks things are yum.. my fiance and I have to keep an eye on him.

The other day he hopped on our bed.. and started chewing something small.
Small things are yum too so I said to Chris

'What is he chewing?'
'Don't know... but it looks small'
'Better get it off him' I said.



After a struggle.. we manage to get it out..
It was my engagement ring!!!
Imagine if it had fallen in him!
That's the last time I leave it on the bedside cabinet with my yum-loving corgi around.

[turkeylegs]

The first week that we adopted Joni, our friend loaned us a hard back book about how to train dogs. We put it on a large book shelf with tons of other books. We left her alone in the house for a few hours to run errands and when we returned she had gotten up on her hind legs and selected that exact book from the shelf and shredded it into a million pieces that covered the entire floor of our study. We returned the pieces to our friend in a plastic bag, and told him the book didn't work.

[love2corgis]

Barking oddities

Sooty has been living here 9 years this April and without fail, every night around 9pm when the neighbour goes to his downstairs bathroom and puts the light on and it shines into our garden, Sooty barks five times- always 5 times and then he settles down, waits for the light to go out and goes back to sleep. The light goes on other times of the evening but he only ever barks at around 9pm.

If I forget to put the sound down on my laptop every time I sign out of AOL and the lady says 'goodbye', Cindy barks. She never barks when the lady says 'you've got mail' or any other sound from the laptop.

Also before my father went into a home, whenever he saw a place on tv he had been to on his many holidays overseas, he used to say 'Been there' and Sooty would bark in agreement. I think he must have been there too in a previous life. I've tried saying 'been there' but he never barks with me.

[red headed stranger]

Hi, Probably our most humerous event occurred with our first Corgi, Tangle. He was wonderful with our daughter, but had been teased by school children to a point he was not friendly with other children. Thus, he was in the house or kenneled, when we were not outside with him.

We moved from a country setting to a trailer park in 1970 and were concerned about his interaction with other people. We fenced the yard and put up beware of dog signs to prevent any accidents. It was not long before we began to hear commotions in the front yard, a mix of children laughing and talking and the dog running and playing. Tangle learned that many people walked up and down the road, and with a little encouragement, they would throw his ball for him, if he would wedge it in the chainlink fence. Soon neighbors, adults and children, were giving us a hard time about the beware of dog sign, and indicated our mean dog, Tangle, was the friendliest dog in the trailer court. He had quickly made many, many friends.

[Michael Romanos]

A TALE OF TWO KITES


Down at the local park there was this insignificant kid's diamond shaped, white papered kite.

A pre-school girl held onto a delicate bit of string attached to the kite and was attempting to get the thing airborne, under the gaze of an adult.

Also watching intently was Taylor, the Pembroke Corgi, who for the first time in his three years was experiencing a kite and one which was struggling to do what kites are suppose to do - fly feverously but proudly in the sky, fanned by the wind and under the manipulative control of a hand or two.

Thought Taylor, " if these people launch this thing off the ground goodness knows what will happen. It could rocket into me; it could anger the Gods and bring down thunder and lightning; or it could explode."

So Taylor promptly turned tail and ran for his life back along the streets, with his dad in hot pursuit. Nothing I said made the slightest difference. It was homeward bound to the safety of the air-raid shelter.

Eight months later at the same park but different kid and adult. This time an impressive, brightly coloured kite high in the sky. Taylor looked hard at the kite flyer, his eyes traced the thin string upwards to where the kite was hovering gaily in the breeze.

Again Taylor looked upwards and downwards. " So that what happens to these things," thought Taylor. " They change colour, go into a deathly orbital dance before wreaking havoc."

Away he sped from the scene. This time taking the short cut through the forest to his home dug-out. Once more I raced after him in futile pursuit.

In future, when we go to that park. I'll look around first before giving Taylor the 'all clear,' otherwise if there is a kite, we are both outta here.

[CardiCorgiOwner]

MAYBE I SHOULD GET A BORDER COLLIE

The big dog show is this weekend. Riley, my Cardigan Corgi, finished his novice obedience title a few months ago and we haven’t been in the ring since then. Riley is entered in Novice B today. I go and check out the rings and they're great. Curtains on all sides and fully matted. My hopes for placing rise.

The steward calls, "Number 37" and Riley and I proudly trot into the ring. I seem to have his attention. The judge says, "Forward" and off we go. But wait. The leash is heavy. It feels as though I'm dragging dead weight. A quick glance down reveals the problem. My dog's nose is INHALING the ring mats. Not just sniffing but INHALING. As I continue to drag him down the heeling pattern, I cannot get him focused. I ask the judge if we may move on.

As we move to the figure 8 exercise, Riley begins to respond to me. Now we're back on track. I begin to do the outside loop of the figure 8. Uh oh. Leash is heavy again. Really heavy. And twitching. Riley is now laying on his back, four stubby legs straight up in the air and squirming with a huge smile on his face.

I try to pick him up but am unsuccessful. The crowd is laughing.

The judge allows us to continue. At heel free, I take five steps forward, but Riley is still sitting at the start line. I call him. He takes two steps then drops onto the floor, on his back, wiggling all over. Again, the crowd laughs as I attempt to scoop him up.

Soon, it is time for stays. At least this is one exercise he can do. He's never broken his sit-stay. I leave him and walk across the ring. 30 seconds into it, he begins to lean. Tip over, really. He's trying to sit, but it's hard to sit when you are also trying to inhale the ring mats. He finally falls onto his side, facing me and all the other exhibitors, spectators, stewards and the judge. This is horrifying, because, after he has fallen over, I realize that his, hmmh, his, well, his, "winky" is hanging out for the whole world to see.

Oh my God.

The judge dismisses us from doing the down-stays. "Thank you" I reply.

[Clogs]

Eskimo Rose

David and I are quite keen kayakers. Rosie has accompanied us ever since she was a puppy, securely roped to one of us via her car harness. She loves being in the kayak, and her favourite position is right behind whoever she is tied to, back feet in the well, front feet up on the edge as the craft speeds across the water. If she sees a shore bound dog, she can’t resist giving it a lot of superior “I’m out here and you can’t get me� lip, stroppy young madam that she is.

Once, when we came to rope her up, we realized that the usual linking lead had been left behind. But not to worry; we used a length of light rope that was in the boot. Securely tied, knots double checked and with the excess rope coiled neatly and draped across the hatch of David’s kayak, we set off across the lake.

The day was hot and sunny and after half an hour or so of paddling, we stopped for a wee breather. I still don’t know if she wanted a drink or simply decided to go for a cooling swim, but just as we set off again, Rosie suddenly leant out of the kayak, lowered her nose down towards the water and shot off the side. And man – did she plummet! Down…down…down she went, the rope uncoiling speedily behind her. Before an instant had passed, she was a distant wee speck, far below us.

We both gaped foolishly at our disappearing dog for a moment, then:
“Pull! Pull her up!� I shouted.

David began hauling on the rope and slowly, gradually, the little dog started to rise. But as she had gone down, the rope had wound around her body and as she came up, we could see her spinning like a barrel in the water. Around and around and around she went. The harder David pulled, the faster she spun. At last, she popped to the surface like a large ginger cork. The expression on her face was a distinct “What did you do that for?�

We expected her to be coughing and spluttering, but instinct must have taken over and she had held her breath the whole time she was under. She wasn’t at all phased by the experience and was just as keen to go again the next time.

[Jespah]

Liquid Plumber?

As it gets pretty cold with the wind-chill here in Toronto in the winter, I bought Riley and Rupert winter coats to protect their hearts and vital organs. It took forever to find coats that fit them, but I finally got these great fleece coats with a nylon chest and underside to protect them from getting wet.

The first time Rupert wore his, he was just under a year old and Riley was staying in that night as her shoulder had been bothering her. It was about 15 below zero Fahrenheit with the wind-chill, so on went his spiffy new red and black coat. We went for a walk around the block with my friend and her black and tan Coonhound – Rupe’s best friend, also in a spiffy coat!

Rupert was quite the dandy, trundling along with a “look at me in my new coat” kind of swagger. He would toodle along, imperiously lift his leg to mark his territory and move on to the next thing to be tinkled upon. Boys! Any of you who have boys know, that even when running on empty, they will still swing a leg up, put on a face of great concentration and “tinkle” on what they think should be theirs.

Strangely, Rupe had only gone a couple of times and he was already empty. He would swing the old leg up, go through the motions and nothin’. Nada. That’s odd I thought, he has a bladder that normally holds a good gallon or two, so it seemed. The next time he went to go, I paid attention to see if he really was going – and it dawned on me! The coat had shifted with his movement and his er, plumbing had been safely ensconced inside his nice warm coat! So the last few times he had lifted his leg, he had just tinkled inside his coat!!! The lovely nylon covering had kept it trapped inside!

Of course, he must have gone about more ten times before I got him home and every time he went to lift his leg, my friend would just crack up laughing at his predicament!

When I brought him in and took off the coat, it was drenched – warm, but drenched. He got a bath and the coat got some very special alterations!!!!

[TNCorgi]

What is in the Basket Boots!?
Our 10 week old puppy Boots was still getting used to our house and how things were done when he discovered my 2 year old son's room. He figured out on any given day there were new and cool toys to be gnawed on as well as action figures to hide. Sunday he went in looking for the usual mischief and found a green basket. It was one of those collapsable Easter baskets made of cloth and a spring (about the size of those halloween pumpkin things you get for candy). It must have had something smelly in it cause Boots stuck his head right in. Well that is a wonderful plan for a pup with a skinny head but for poor Boots it meant he was a basket head! He got lodged in it and if that wasnt bad enough he tried to back out of it. He backed all over the house til he got wedged behind a door. That is where I found him. I could not understand why my 2 kids were laughing so hard and pointing in the bedroom. I also could not figure out what the knocking sound was. I went in and peered behind the door and there was Boots banging that basket against the door as if to say - get off you stupid thing! I picked him up and took him in to see my hubby. We both had a good laugh and I removed the basket. Once Boots was free he decided the basket was evil. Now he wont even walk past it. He gives it a wide berth even if it is just harmlessly sitting on the floor.