A heart wrenching decision

[newcorgiowner]

Let me start this thread out by begging everyone to refrain from "i told you so's" or "we warned you" like comments. After a lot more reading and attempting to spend a day home alone with the puppies without my fiance to help, we have made the aganozing decision to return Matti to the breeder tonight.

This is one of the worst choices I have ever had to make. We've only been together for a few days now but I have grown incredibly attatched to both of them. But raising two pups like this is just going to be too much work. And honestly, the work isn' what bothers me. I love to spend time with my dogs, few other things in this world make me as happy as when I am with them. The problem, plain and simple is that its not fair to them or me.

I have going back and forth on this since last night but what finally sealed it for me was this morning. Everything I have read and the vet I talked to said they need to be seperate for large portions of the day. Well I was playing with Gizmo for a couple of hours while Matti was napping. Gizmo and I were having a good old time playing and bonding when I heard Matti yipping to go out and be played with. I felt terrible because it was Matti's "turn" but Gizmo and I weren't done.

So I put Gizmo away which made both of us miserable and took Matti out. While we were walking I just kept thinking about how its going to be like this for a long time. Not being able to spend as much time with either dog as I would like and not nearly as much as I am sure they would like.

Also the bonding and tempermant issue is very pronounced. When they are apart, they run with me, won't leave my heal (except when to chase a butterfly or eat a flower) jump on my chest and lick my face, etc. But whe they are together, more often then not they are fighting and I couldn't get their attention with a whistle.

I feel absolutly miserable right now. But at the same time a small part of me is starting to feel a wave of relief. Knowing that by doing this I may be losing a dog but I am going to be gaining a best friend and a wonderful companion. Gizmo will still be a handful all by herself but at least I'll be able to give her all my attention and end up with a wonderfully trained dog who loves me to death instead of spending all that time for two partially trained dogs who play wiht me when the other is sleeping.

[newcorgiowner]

Sigh, a hard decision just got harder. I just talked to the breeder and she tried in every way possible to talk me out of returning one. She also said that we could not get a refund because the contract says refunds are given only if the vet finds a problem with one.

So now my head is swimming with all these different things, some saying its okay to raise them together, some saying its an absolute nightmare. I don't know what to do, I am still inclinded to return her or find a nice home for her myself but I just don't know what to do. People are telling me now that there is no need to seperate them and all that.

I think I am going to leave the final decision till when I talk to the vet at 3:00. He'll hopefully know whats best and I imagine he will have encountered both good and bad situations.

[CorgiMum]

I don't know the ins & outs of your entire situation, but what every you decide, it will not be easy. ((((((Hugs)))))

And I have to say this.

My first thought is, why did the breeder sell you two pups from the same litter? She knows that is a difficult situation for even an extremely experienced dog person.

My second thought is, what kind of a breeder is more interested in the refund that the well being of one of her dogs.

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Please let us know what your Vet advises?

[Lady's Daddy]

I hope everything goes well with you. Since I've never had two dogs at the same time, I can't say anything about the difficulties that arise. I understand how you feel and I'm glad your aren't doing it for purely selfish reasons. It is most importantly about the quality of life of both your darlings. Saying that I wish I could take her off your hands. I want another dog so bad and Lady would love a friend. I feel bad for her not having someone to play with all the time. If you don't mind me asking: How much was paid for the dog/dogs? Did you get a good deal on the second one by buying the first one?

[Fluffypants]

What a tough situation to be in. Good luck, whatever you decide. Hope you know that you can always turn here for advice & support.

ps - I agree with Barbara . . . aren't breeders supposed to be willing to take their puppies back any time, no questions asked?

- Jessica

[Jeni D]

I definitely don't envy your situation at all, but it's obvious you want to do what is best for the pups. Good luck with whatever you decide and keep us posted on your decision. It is terrible that the breeder will not take her back, making it completely obvious she was only in it for the money, not the love of the breed.

Good luck
Jeni

[newcorgiowner]

Originally Posted by Lady's Daddy

I hope everything goes well with you. Since I've never had two dogs at the same time, I can't say anything about the difficulties that arise. I understand how you feel and I'm glad your aren't doing it for purely selfish reasons. It is most importantly about the quality of life of both your darlings. Saying that I wish I could take her off your hands. I want another dog so bad and Lady would love a friend. I feel bad for her not having someone to play with all the time. If you don't mind me asking: How much was paid for the dog/dogs? Did you get a good deal on the second one by buying the first one?

Each dog was $650, no discount. And its not even about the money. I care about it obviously because it is a lot but that definetly won't be a factor in my decision. I mean, even if you wanted to just look at the money, quality of life for me and my fiance over the next 12- 15 years is definetly worth more then $650.

But even thats really not the point. If this was happening a couple of months later I would give Matti to a good friend of mine. He desperatly wants a dog but unforunitly until he moves at the end of September (he's in a dog free apartment) he can't take one.

I have a number of good options at this point though, so I am at least happy about that.

One option of course would be to take her back tonight, which is still where I am strongly leaning. Another positive option that makes me slightly less miserable is my parents. They have two dogs at home, a old yellow lab (who is quite possibly the most wonderful dog in the world...growing up with her was incredible) and a aging beagle. The lab unforunitly will probably no longer be with them by Christmas as she has severe hip problems now which is giving her a hard time walking. They are planning on getting a new lab puppy next summer after she passes on. In the meantime though they said they'd be willing to take Matti for a year and raise her and we'd get her back next summer. Not the best solution in the world because I would feel bad taking her away from my parents, the family she has bonded with for a year, but I know dogs get placed in new homes all the time and deal with it fine afer a week or so (or so I am told, if anyone knows something different please share). The nice part about this is that they are coming up to visit in 3 weeks so I'll be able to see how things are going by then.

But in the end I just keeping coming back to the fact that I think it will be best for Matti to be placed with a nice family now and give Gizmo room to grow and bond. (I just heard Matti making little yips while she was sleeping and it is killing me).

We'll see what the vet says in an hour and I'll make my decision from there. Thanks for all the words of encouragement/help, they mean a lot.

[Fluffypants]

Originally Posted by newcorgiowner

Each dog was $650, no discount. And its not even about the money. I care about it obviously because it is a lot but that definetly won't be a factor in my decision.
I have a number of good options at this point though, so I am at least happy about that.

Not for you maybe . . . but it is clearly about the money for your "breeder".

It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought, and have figured out a few possible options. Good luck!

[newcorgiowner]

Hmm...upon reading everyones replies, I might not have made myself clear on the breeder's position. She will take the pup back, she just stated that she won't supply a refund.

Her contract states that at any point in the puppies life if you need to part ways she will take them and under no circumstances should they end up going to the pound or SPCA.

What made things so hard after talking with the breeder was not the money loss but rather her attempts to persuade me to keep her. I am unfortunitly not so firm in my decision that hearing positive things about raising two can't sway me.

Thankfully, my fiance who has been in tears all day is slightly stronger then me on this and has been able to push me past the "well we might be able to do it" and the "but they are so cute together, look how happy they look" thoughts.

[corgimom]

Maybe if your parents take this dog, they will end up LOVING it and wanting to keep the dog after a year - they may say, we decided we don't want another lab, but we will keep this dog - afterall a year for them to bond with the dog - who could part with one after that

It is a tough decision for you, but 12 to 15 years is a long commitment and you want to make the right one if raising two pups is what you want to do.

Good luck with what you decide -

I don't think anyone is going to say "we told you so"

linda

[newcorgiowner]

Just wanted to post that my fiance read through the thread and wanted to thank everyone for their support.

[Jespah]

This is a very difficult decision, but you must go with your gut instinct. You obviously care enough to do what's right for the dogs. You should consider talking to a trainer as well as your vet. They know more about the social, behaviour and training aspects than most vets do. What might be one year of getting both of them trained well enough for you to relax may result in many years of joy with both of them. My two are a year and half apart, so Riley was trained when Rupe came along. It was still tricky at times, but it was well worth it. I don't mean to muddy the waters, as it were, but the more info you get the better your decision will be and the easier it will be on you both.

Deb

[Corgis'R4me]

*~* MY EXPERIENCE...

I have two 9 month old SISTER Pembroke Corgi puppies.

They get along GREAT !

I NEVER had to seperate them...or HAD to spend individual time with them !

** I know that every situation is different...and that there are individual personalities for each Corgi...BUT, I show my two girls that they are equally loved and they get equal attention !

My opinion is...IF you choose to keep Matti then you don't need to seperate them. You should let them interact with you TOGETHER ! If Gizmo or Matti exhibits jealous behavior...then, just pet them both at the same time...or try to show them BOTH that they will both get pets & love from you.

Imagine this: You pick one dog up, close the door and leave the other dog alone in a room. The dog who is left in the room gets anxious...waiting for his/her turn. Then, when you eventually come back to spend EQUAL time with the other dog....the first dog is waiting for you to return for her/him.
ANXIETY....& JEALOUSY can be created by that routine !! IMO (in my opinion)

I understand why some people may have the opinion to seperate them and spend individual time with each puppy. But, I don't agree !!!

I NEVER experienced any need for this action !

I allow my girls to be together outside, in the house & in my Master Bedroom when I leave for works and run errands. I DO NOT seperate them to spend one on one time with them.

** SHOULD I...??? ** I dunno.....I just never saw the NEED for this !

I personally....have no critical opinion on what your decision will be ! It is YOUR decision...you have the right to decide what is BEST for you and your lifestyle ! IF...IF...anyone criticises you for what you decide...it is WRONG & RUDE ! People should not judge others !

{ WE ALL SUPPORT YOU...WHATEVER YOU DECIDE !! }


*~* Nikki

[glencorgi]

This has been a very difficult thread for me, because I could be having the same conversation with the next phone call I receive. Having said that, the only responsible action I see on the part of the "breeder" is that she does have a first right of refusal clause in her contract. How she is standing behind it, is another matter.

With rescues we place, we offer a two week trial period in which we hold the check/money to make sure things are going to work out. I know many Breeders who do the same with puppies they place. Although she is willing to take Matti back, I hate the idea of her monetarily benefitting from another irresponsible placing of her.

Where are you located? I can give you some corgi rescue contacts who will insure Matti finds the kind of home you wish for her.

Debbie

[Chip's Mom]

This is so sad. I sympathize with you. I do agree with Nikki that separating the 2 of them might not be the best solution unless you are going to find a home for one.