Still missing my Tessa!

[MARGE ALBERTS]

Hi there all Corgi lovers!

I am so happy to be able to communicate with corgi lovers from all over (mostly I guess) the USA. I live in South Africa in the "diamond city" of Kimberley, and I have posted before, but have not doem so for some while now.
Does everone who loses a beloved corgi friend struggle so long to get over the death? My Tessa has been gone 5 months now and I still struggle daily to get used to the fact that she is no longer there. We were SO close for nearly 12 years.
I now have a male pup, Taffy, who is 1 year old now, but although I love him dearly as well, he cannot fill the void which Tessa left.
Tessa died from a heart attack....in my arms in such a " beautiful" way, I guess....that is if death can be beautiful??!
I am going to try to attach my tribute which I wrote for Tessa. I would want to share it with other corgi lovers.
P.S. I have just tried and failed to do so, but I will try to rename my "Tribute to Tessa" and post it again.
Regards,
Marge Alberts

[milosmom]

Marge,
I'm very sorry to hear about you losing Tessa. Losing a pet is so very hard partly because people around us don't always understand that it is a HUGE loss. They think it is silly to grieve so much over an animal, but it is not. Our pets are part of our family, you had your Tessa for 12 years...that is a long time. How could you not be sad? Give yourself permission to grieve and no, you don't "get over it", you only learn how to reconcile that loss and integrate it into your life and go forward. There is no time line either, everybody grieves differently and in their own time. It helps to talk about it....if there is no pet loss group available to you to go to, then you come here to Go Corgi! Sometimes it helps to do something to honor your pet. Perhaps make a scrapbook of memories, or paint, journal, plant a special flower garden...volunteer for an animal group...the options are endless and individual. You said you have written a tribute poem...that is wonderful and please share it with us. I lost my Maddie cat in January, he was 17 years old. We went through a lot in those 17 years, no doubt you went through a lot in your 12 years with Tessa. I still will get teary eyed when I think of him. Although I feel sad when I think of losing him, I also try to remind myself how lucky I was to have him and to focus on the 17 years of laughs and happiness. Most marriages don't last that long!!
Our pets give us unconditional acceptance and love....something we don't always get from humans. You lost Tessa 5 months ago, and that is not that long ago. I am glad you have your Taffy, while no animal can replace Tessa, you have Taffy to love and tell your secrets too. Give yourself time and take care of yourself. I wish you peace.

[Dillydoodle]

Marge,
I think it is totally normal to still be struggling at 5 months after a loss. While i have not lost a corgi, i did lose my soulmate kitty Clinton 1/29/05 and found it to be a long acceptance process. I found that really until i had hit the one year mark , i could not talk about him without tears. It has now been 1 yr and nearly 10 months and i still have moments of tears when i think about him. One place i found great support and help when i first lost Clinton was at www.petloss.com i went to the message board first and then moved on to the chat room and usually it was full of very understanding people. I think Milo's mom is totally correct, it is a huge loss in our lives when a furbaby passes and many people expect us to be "over it" quickly. What I have learned is that you never really "get over it" you just learn to cope with the loss and the grief. The thing that has brought me comfort is that I believe that they are still very much with us, and that the love never dies- they are with us in spirit and that one day we will be reunited again. I know how much you must be missing your Tessa and know that the body may not live forever but the spirit lives on for all eternity and that you are always going to be connected to her. Sending you hugs. I do understand.

Emilie